3 weeks and I start medical school.
That one sentence overwhelms me with excitement and anticipation. Simultaneously, those words give rise to what I consider a healthy fear.
The word fear incites negative emotion. And for the most part, I despise fear and want to kill it with everything in me. Though, when it moves you in the right direction, I think fear can be healthy.
My fear comes from understanding that medical school will require much from me; it will put demands on me that I will never meet; it will place before me an ocean of information that I will never adequately ingest; it will surround me with a culture that moves and breathes radically different than me. If I let it – if I’m not intentional - it will overtake me.
The conflict comes in this – I have spent the past 5 years of my life running after God with everything in me. I have pursued Him with steadfast and hunger. I have fallen in love. He is my One thing. – Med school threatens this.
Yet, it is only a threat. A threat is merely an indication or warning. It is not reality. So you see, fear can be good. It can alert you of threat and move you in the right direction.
Identified my fear - check. Acknowledged the threat - check. Now, I move in the right direction - YES.
I’m convinced that a necessarily essential characteristic in the Kingdom, or really any endeavor, is RESOLVE. To be resolute : set in purpose : determined : fixed : steadily directed : unwavering : firmly established. Those I consider heroes, had to have maintained through resolve.
This is not easy. Culture beckons us 1,000 different directions, vying for our attention. If our internal culture is not firmly established, we will certainly become aligned with the external culture. Externals will make our decisions and dictate our lives. Without determined persistence, we become prisoners to busyness or the next deadline or expectations.
I don’t want that. I am after One thing and One thing alone. I am after God.
Thus, it’s absolutely critical to examine core values and to determine priorities. I choose to protect my priorities. I choose to live my life from the inside; not to be moved by the outside.
This brings me to ask God for specifics - what does it look like for me to protect what He has founded in me over the past 5 years? What does this look like for me as I enter a world, that quite often, eats people alive. What are the constructs that I must put in place to guard my One thing and build on this foundation? To ensure that I will not be moved. I will remain. I am resolute in my pursuit of God. I am after Him. I am single in focus. Nothing will steal me from my First Love. He is my One thing.
How do you persist in being after the heart of God, in spite of busyness and a culture counter to the Kingdom?? How do you protect communion with God as your priority?
